Tuesday, December 7, 2010

We were never promised to be loved

One of the things that I have been learning over the past year is the cruel truth that we were never promised to be loved we were only commanded to love as Christ loved us.  To take on this selfless position and completely embrace Christ and know that we may never be loved in return.  This is a hard pill to swallow.  To know that we put so much into loving others and often times don't receive love in return.  This is the very stem of problems in marriages today.  We expect the stars yet we are unwilling to give an inch. 

A lot of times we enter marriages and we quickly find ourselves measuring our spouses up to this never ending measuring stick.  We measure his or her love for us by how far they can reach on that measuring stick.  Unfortunately, this is not what was intended.  My world has been rocked lately reading a powerful book called, "Power of Being a Woman."  Its title implies that it is teaching woman how to be powerful and mighty over their work, spouses, etc.  In all reality it is teaching the power of being a woman in our everyday Christian walk.  How we treat our husbands is how they are going to identify Christ's love.  How we use our skills of manipulation is going to tell those around us what is truly important.  We have the power to impact so many people’s lives, but we are too often using our skills in the wrong way. 

I had a mentor once tell me, "Christie, you are extremely powerful in the workplace.  You are able to lead and have others follow you.  The moment you figure out that you cannot enter your home with the same mentality, you will be much better off."  Whoosh, is this ever true.  I was so guilty of entering my home with this idea of leadership and I always had to be the one in charge.  Again, this was never how Christ intended and I am so glad I learned this young in my marriage. 

Wives, if we would simply learn to love and respect our husbands.  If we would let them lead, even when it doesn't seem possible.  If we would let them struggle.  If we would let them be men...they would begin to see the TRUE love and respect that we have for them.  After all, how often are we taking that very thing from them and spending more time demeaning them rather than building them up?


  1. Thx Christie I need that.. and more than ever, as a wife, I need God's grace... an amazing thing! love you :)

  2. I'm not married but this awesome! Thanks for sharing!! :]

  3. so very true chica! Troy and I were just discussing this sort of thing the other day, but it means so much more hearing it come from another woman. You used words that reached me in a totally different way! love ya chica!

  4. i love you even if you don't love me back. also, i bought that book for monika. i think you guys would be great friends. miss you. xoxo


  5. Christie, this post reminded me of one of my favorite books, which I think you would enjoy. It is called "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. The premise of it is "what if God designed marriage to make us HOLY more than to make us HAPPY?" Awesome book, which your post has inspired me to re-read. I also want to get his book called "Sacred Parenting" now that I am a Mommy!